What if my ex refuses mediation?

In NC, mediation is a way to come to an agreement without the involvement of the courts. It is usually more favorable because each party's views can be included in the agreement without the judge making the final decision. If an action has already been filed, the outcome of mediation can become a court order enforceable by the courts and the police. 

For instance, if you all agree to a custody arrangement after one of you has filed for custody, it becomes a Custody Order. If someone does not follow the order, the other can file a "Motion to Show Cause" and if they win in court, the person who violated the order will face jail-time and/or a fine.

If your spouse, former spouse, or child's parent refuses to go to mediation or refuses to come to an agreement while in mediation, the courts must make the final decision in your case. If you are unfamiliar with the Rules of Civil Procedure or the Rules of Evidence, it is best to hire an attorney because you will be expected to know these rules during your hearing. It is also very difficult to get your point across to a judge if both sides are just accusing the other of being a bad parent/spouse. Hiring an attorney who is not emotionally invested in the case can speed along the process and help your voice be heard.

Our office has had great success with assisting clients who cannot agree in mediation and we have also settled most of our cases through some form of negotiations or mediation. As a N.C. Certified Mediator, I work with clients to assist them in getting the optimum outcome even when their spouse is disagreeable. 

If you have more questions, contact me at (919)321-6569, Nastasia@kisalawatkins.com, www.kisalawatkins.com.

What do I do if my ex contests the divorce or doesn't sign the papers?

Sorry to tell him or her, but the divorce is going to happen eventually. They are just prolonging the process. 

In NC, you can get divorced after being separated for 1 year (unless one of you is mentally incompetent). No papers have to be signed by your spouse and they do not have to consent to the divorce in NC. No one has to be at fault and you don't even have to have a reason for the divorce. So, the only real defense to divorce is that you were not actually separated for 1 year. If this is his/her defense, you can just wait the additional time required for the 1 year separation to be in effect and your divorce will still be granted!

Remember that you cannot rekindle the relationship or attempt to get back together during the 1 year separation, otherwise, the clock starts over. In NC, sleeping together once in awhile is not considered getting back together. So don't worry if you guys did something you now regret after that wedding reception with the open bar last summer.

You must file for alimony, post-separation support, and an equitable distribution of your property before or when you file for divorce otherwise the claims are lost forever. 

Contact me at (919)321-6569, Nastasia@KisalaWatkins.com, or at www.KisalaWatkins.com for assistance with your divorce questions.

What happens in court if you are a witness?

Don't panic! Being a witness may seem pretty simple to some, however, being up on the stand with the lights beaming down your face and attorneys throwing questions at you can be very scary. 

Here is the general process: 

1. You will be sworn in. You know how it goes, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?"
2. The side who called you as a witness will question you first. Then the other side will ask you questions. The may take turns with the process again if need be.
3. Your attorney is there to help you. He/she will protect you from any questions that are not relevant to case or will hurt your chances of winning. When your attorney objects, wait for the judge to rule on the objection then answer the question ONLY if the objection was overruled. He/she can also refresh your memory with a document if need be.
4. Take a moment to process the question. There is no time limit to answering the question and you want to be truthful, otherwise, your entire testimony will appear to be untruthful.
5. TELL THE TRUTH! It's obvious when you lie on the stand and the judge will not take anything that you say seriously if you lie. It doesn't work...so don't try it. 
6. You will be nervous in the beginning, but after awhile, you'll get comfortable and before you know it...it's over! 
7. Address your answer to the judge or the jury. You are not trying to convince the parties or the attorneys that what you are saying is true, only the judge or jury.

If you've been subpoenaed to testify at an upcoming criminal or civil trial and are concerned about your rights, contact me at (919) 321-6569 or Nastasia@kisalawatkins.com.

***I do not own the rights to this video***

I've just been sued! What do I do?

Nothing can ruin your day like being greeted by the sheriff with a yellow sheet of paper that reads "Summons and Complaint." Although it is tempting, the worst thing that you could do is ignore it! If you ignore it, the person who sued you will automatically win in what is called a "Default Judgment." 

Generally, in NC, you have 30 days to respond to a lawsuit. This is your chance to deny the allegations in the lawsuit and submit a counterclaim against them if they have wronged you as well. You only get one shot to file a claim (or counterclaim) for anything arising out of the same set of facts, so be sure to meet with an attorney so you don't miss any claims and miss out on some money or property owed to you. 

Remember to be truthful because you could be ordered to pay a fine or their attorney's fees if you allege facts that aren't true. Separately, if the facts that they are claiming are untrue, baseless, and frivolous, the other side may be ordered to pay your attorney's fees following a Rule 60 "Motion for Sanctions." 

Many lawsuits can be settled through mediation or negotiation. This way, the parties can determine the terms of the agreement without leaving their fate up to a judge. Contact me, a certified mediator, if you need a neutral party to resolve these issues before they reach a hearing at (919)321-6569, Nastasia@kisalawatkins.com, www.kisalawatkins.com.